Nope, this is not a blog post about the best office tools! This is a confession of whiting out 8 weeks of a fitness schedule that was in Sharpie pen in my agenda and replacing it with something new.
So in case in you missed it.. a few weeks ago I posted this blog. I was convinced that I needed to work my body but in all honesty, I needed to work my mentality. After a week long vacation to Disney, I fell apart. I went back to eating like crap, fell into an emotional hole of falling off track, and just broke down. I didn’t work out for almost an entire month. Are you freaking kidding me? I felt like I had failed, and in all honesty I guess I had. I was convinced I was going to stay on track with Hammer & Chisel and push myself past my fears and insecurities, but what I really needed was to slowly bring myself back to reality.
ONE PiYo session was all it took to put me back in my place. I stared out the window while I did sun salutations and knew that I needed to slowly bring my body back to where I needed it to be. I couldn’t push my limits and do something that I wasn’t comfortable with, I needed to go back to PiYo. I mean this was the program that created the best results that I had ever achieved with a program so why was I doubting myself?
I’ll tell you why, because the first time I did it, I did it for ALL THE WRONG REASONS. Yep, I’m yelling that because it’s the truth. When I was in the test group 2 years ago, I did it for someone else, for an infomercial, to earn a photoshoot.. for what? So that in 3 months when the infomercial was shot I wouldn’t be picked? That my results weren’t “good enough” for someone to be inspired by on tv? Well shit. And you know what that rejection did to me? It BROKE me. It broke my self-esteem, it broke my will to keep going, it broke my results and I fell back into a pattern. So here I sit 2 years later right back to square one.
I’m tired of feeling like I was rejected, like I wasn’t good enough. I’m tired of hiding behind a person in a photo or a table so that people can’t see me sucking the life out of myself into my jeans. I’m tired of not fitting into something that makes me feel sexy and feel amazing. I’m tired of hiding in sweatpants and leggings (though don’t get me wrong they’re damn comfy). I’m tired of feeling like I have to hide behind the girl I “once was” because that girl is gone. This girl… the girl that is focused and driven and looking towards being healthier and happier is the girl that I am now and the girl that I will continue to be. She is guiding me.. She has a path of mental change that needs to come along with physical change. No more restricting things I love, but taking less of them (because lets be honest, a 6 pack of beer or a bottle of wine 3-4 times a night is NOT helping me and definitely doesn’t feel good the next day). Moderation, loving myself, and taking my POWER back… That’s where I’m going.
And I’m proud to say that I began week 3 of PiYo yesterday for the RIGHT reasons.
If you’re tired of hiding behind a “shell” of who you want to be, or thinking that it’s “never going to happen” for you – we NEED to talk. Let me help you get started and take YOUR power back! CLICK HERE to email me so that we can chat!