Guilt Should Never be a Part of Transformation

by Thursday, May 18, 2017

It’s Thursday loves… and while I don’t have much of a throwback to post, I figured it was a good time to chat about health, fitness, and all things related that have been going on in my world since I last updated.

Guilt Body

Outfit: Ellie Active Wear (

Back in January I talked about how I wasn’t setting “new me new year” goals because truth be told, I had already been on the “new me” train and kept it up throughout the holidays, and I didn’t really feel like I had much to change. I was in maintenance mode, focusing on building muscle and getting into a routine and I was feeling pretty good. Around February it hit me that I had two trips coming up. I went to LA for Tony Robbins: Unleash the Power Within (I’ll talk more about that soon on the blog) and in April we went to Punta Cana for our annual Beachbody Success Club celebration trip. That trip alone had me quivering in my Uggs. I knew I really needed to make some changes and lean down for the trip, so my coach and I began a journey to cut.

(I talked about my reasoning for hiring my own coach even though I am a coach in that January post.)

I gradually lowered calories and macros over the course of a couple of months, stayed REALLY on point with my nutrition, and brought myself to only 1-2 drinks per week. Yes, you read that right.. per week… Okay, lets be honest some weeks it was more like 3 per week but, it was a huge change for me nonetheless. I continued lifting about 4-5 times per week and added in a round of PiYo as well. It was the perfect match up and I had 60 days to make some serious changes.

Would I say I was in my perfect body when I left for Punta Cana? Nope, but I was feeling more confident and the belly fat was beginning to melt away. While on the trip I drank a lot of water and made better choices than I have on vacations in the past, but I still took full advantage of the all inclusive resort… drank what I wanted, when I wanted.. ate whatever food I wanted (one breakfast may or may not have included a few bites of a chocolate filled Oreo donut.. yes there were Oreos ON the donut and chocolate on the inside.. #Heaven). I didn’t take advantage of the live trainer workouts (I’m not waking up at 6:00 am on vacation.. #SorryNOTSorry). I didn’t think about my body and what I was gaining or the progress I was “losing”. When I came back and checked in my progress, I hadn’t gained a pound and my inches didn’t grow… WIN for me! I then took about a week off of “dieting” (I hate that word, because I was never dieting, we just changed up my macros and calories for a week to regulate back to a schedule) and life went back to normal.

Guilt Body

Last week when my coach said “ok, ready for a hard cut again for summer?” I immediately said YEP let’s do this. I was thinking about all the things I need to look good for: I have my best friend’s wedding in a few weeks and it’s almost boat season, why wouldn’t I want to look my best for summer right? What I didn’t realize is..

I wouldn’t FEEL my best…

Last weekend the sun was shining for the first time since last summer, it was perfectly gorgeous outside and it only felt natural to grab a beer and enjoy. Why? Because that’s my lifestyle… and that’s what I’ve preach: not restricting things you love and enjoy for a “body” (of course if training to compete or for something else that’s a different story). But there I sat feeling extremely guilty and punishing myself for enjoying my day the way I wanted to because it wasn’t on my plan. Even though I was feeling as though I was failing,
I had to make a change. I got honest with my girl Amanda and laid it all out that the 1-2 drink thing was just not going to work for me. She knows me well enough, that if I say I’m NOT going to do something I’m just not. Her response was NOT to force me to give it up and feel like shit, but to change things up and put me on a different plan to incorporate what I love. Why would a coach do this?

Because guilt and body shame should NEVER be a part of transformation.

The minute I realized I was feeling guilty, I knew I was being a fraud to myself and to the women that I work with. Yes, there will come a time when I am a little stricter but it’s going to be when I want it to be, when I am in a good headspace about it, and not change my whole lifestyle.

For now I’m going to stay true to who I am and make progress my own way.


Guilt Body
Shout out and love to my girl Amanda.. The girl that keeps me sane when I feel like I’m falling apart, the girl that doesn’t bullshit me, and the girl believes in me even when I make crazy demands.